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Ritual Sacrifice |
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Necessary Steps to Appease Enemy Entities |
Our order is dedicated to "messing with forces we don't understand." Indeed, the scientific community largely rejects the existence of these forces. Our canonical stance is that we are still undecided. Therefore, our doctrine does not proclaim any causal relationship in apparently supernatural events. However, our organization detects and analyzes anomalous correlations, and we have uncovered a great risk to practitioners who dedicate their lives to our "dark arts." The following policy is intended to mitigate risks associated with the practice of software development, etc., while lucid dreaming.
While this policy may seem draconian and harsh in a polytropic context, we believe that it offers sufficiently harsh conditions for our monotropic population who have opted to join our movement specifically to experiment with a predominantly-monotropic society or to otherwise escape the persecution of polytropic societies.
We believe that it is important for the health and well-being of our members to regularly engage in their "special interest." We have developed a training regimine to enable our members to practice their "special interest" at all hours, even while sleeping.
This regimine is based on intensive and eremetic Eastern practices, such as various Sadhanas. To practice this, our members need even more hyper-focus than what is normal, even for baseline NDs.
We further believe that constant interruptions, especially targeting an ND, and especially targeting an ND engaging in his "special interest" are a form of psychological torture.
Let us consider a less-than-hypothetical scenario:
- an ND practitioner's "special interest" is coding
- he uses our Sadhanas to become a dream-coder
- he gets a job doing his "special interest" (i.e., coding); note the 90% underemployment statistic for NDs
- NTs in the home and office interrupt, interfere, etc., stealing 4-10 hours daily of coding time, and occasionally stealing 16+ hours.
- the constant interruptions cause psychological harm on their own
- he now has fewer hours to devote to his "special interest," which causes psychological harm
- he now has measurably less productivity per man-hour, making him a less competitive employee; note the 90% underemployment statistic
- due to time-stealing by NTs, he now has to choose which basic tasks to neglect. e.g., working, bathing, eating, sleeping, house chores, etc.
- neglecting basic tasks causes the NTs to have psychotic episodes, making work impossible for several days.
- there are a few other events that don't seem to have a causal connection, but that occured during the same time-frame: a tree fell on the roof, the toilet broke and flooded the house, the ice maker on the fridge stopped working.
- the ND is the only one in the household who is self-aware enough, able-bodied and smart-enough to comprehend these problems and try to think of a solution
Now, this scenario is not an edge case. This is a "day in the life:" this is a typical scenario.
We believe in four dream levels, which can be accessed by performing deep trance dhyana meditation while lucid dreaming. As we attain lower dream levels, we gain a more direct connection to the collective unconsciousness and our gods.
We lucid dream to connect with our god(s). When we do this, our gods give us insights and assignments. When we awake, we are obliged to implement these assignments. In exchange for carrying out our end of the relationship, we gain permanent increased access to the collective unconscioussness -- the source of these insights.
The assignments which we are compelled to complete are not classified as normal coding projects in our religion. Because of an statistically significant increase in "acts of god" (in the legal sense), we believe that these coding assignments are actually a form of magical conjuration requiring some form of mana/pranic payment (i.e., a "sacrifice") in order to make the program manifest in this universe. Failure to pay this mana cost is known to always result in disasterous consequences for the practitioner and the people around him.
For the safety of our members and our physical assets, all practitioners will be required to be equipped with an athame or sacrificial dagger at all times while practicing religious coding or "conjuration."
If a practitioner is interrupted during a conjuration, the interruption shall be considered as having volunteered for self-sacrifice. If the practitioner fails to pay the mana cost apparently demanded by the presentation of a willing self-sacrifice, then he will be held personally accountable for any "acts of god" which may occur in the immediate vicinity of his current time-space coordinates.
For the additional protection of our members, practitioners' cells will be equipped with signage to notify that a conjuration is taking place, so as to prevent the occurence of unintentionally volunteering to pay the mana cost.